Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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