i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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