Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
