I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
