Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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