Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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