I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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