you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
