Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
