I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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