i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize