it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
