He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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