All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
