im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
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