How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
