Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
