4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
