Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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