HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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