I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
