I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
