Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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