btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
