i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
