do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
