you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
