I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
