"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
