thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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