I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
