you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
