i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
