Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize