They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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