idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
