im drinking this country out of the recession.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
how drunk are you?
Several
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
