the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
