I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just forgot I was standing up.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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