: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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