So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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