Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
