HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize