Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
