U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
