Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
