Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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