whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
