weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
