Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
