so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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