yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
