can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
