Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize