nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize