Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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