physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't deserve a penis
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
