I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
