READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
