I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
