If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize