Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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