I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
