Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
